Why do I write?

Why do I write?

That’s a good question.

There should be more to it than just having fun shouldn’t there? More than writing just to write. If that’s the case then I might be screwed as a writer, well these days at least.

I’ve always been fascinated with stories ever since my mother read to me at bedtime. I never thought I’d be an author of a novel. I always had stories on my mind, sometimes too many for me to focus on anything outside of my skull. Letting the stories loose onto a page however just didn’t work. I attempted multiple times to forcibly take hold of the words, only for them to squeeze out of my grip. It felt like I would never get these ideas out of my head.

In college I became a Game Master in D&D (and many other game systems since D&D 3.5). The game was fast-paced enough for my mind to fill in the world and clear out my mind for a time. Which is probably the key reason my first novel, Sem’se, was using the world I had created for a campaign that kept alive in my head well after the campaign’s end.

Though why I wrote Sem’se didn’t involve the game, or even the players (as we all had moved onto other game systems and storylines). Yes, Sem’se kept rattling in my head rent-free, but the reason behind why I started writing and actually kept with it wasn’t game related. It wasn’t fun related either.

A loving relationship nearing two years turned sour and then toxic to the point of calling off our fiance plans. I was heartbroken, and just like a meme, I decided to put my sadness into the creative field of writing.

At the time it felt to me like I had the choice to do something horrible, or choose a positive place to throw myself towards. It wasn’t an obvious choice at the time (another reason I suggest to avoid such drama, if you can successfully do so - most can’t). Thankfully Sem’se was still rattling in my head and the story made the decision for me.

I sought the help of someone already in the writing field who could guide me, and that’s how I found Roger and his company. These days I wouldn’t suggest working with a company, but at that time I had emotions tearing through me and I needed something to work on immediately. A project to put all of myself into. Add that to the fact I had always felt I never could be an author, and it all worked out for the best. And after Last Job I realized how much I’ve improved since Sem’se as well as how little such companies could help. Writers in the same genre tend to be the best help for writers (that’s another blog post for another day)

So, my first book was born out of a sense of desperation. My second book was born from a simple conversation between myself and Buck over sushi (I just realized that Buck might be addicted to sushi, he keeps requesting sushi for the one time we meet in person every month). We don’t talk much when eating, but the question came up, “Why don’t we write a book together?”

It made perfect sense.

Buck had written five novels, two anime scripts, and more at that time, but hadn’t published any of those. Writing had an intrinsic satisfaction for him, though he wanted to have his stories known and thus far he hadn’t heard back from any literary agent.

I had finished Sem’se a while ago, and knew what the second book would be overall, but wasn’t really writing. I had healed emotionally from my heartbreak and I didn’t need to focus on writing to help me get through the day. I enjoyed writing, but the why wasn’t as strong (and no one really read Sem’se aside from Buck and a few ebook readers who I knew nothing about).

Being the coauthor for Last Job breathed life back into writing for me. The feeling of creating characters and putting a shared story to page excited me. I could barely wait for the weekend for Buck and I to go over his or my new chapter we wrote that week.

Then the manuscript’s first draft was complete. We waited several weeks to go over it again and fine-tune it for the beta readers. Then the beta reader notes were compiled. Then we got the screens of red text from the editor. Then I dealt with all the damn formatting nonsense (much easier the second time as I went over Sem’se and corrected multiple issues). Now we’re at the promotion stage . . . uh, yeah, about that.

So, neither Buck nor I are social media guys (the rest will be another blog post).

Why do I write now?

I write because I feel better after writing.

I love stories, and want to write my stories down. Yes, my mind creates far too much for me to put even half of it on paper, but at least writing focuses most of my mind in one direction.

I write to stay healthy, and I write what I want to write, not what should hopefully sell more books. The weeks when I don’t write, I am off-balance, easily frustrated, and become aimless.

I write for myself, and hopefully someone else enjoys it. I want others to enjoy reading my stories. I’ll figure out the rest of the publishing bits and pieces in time. Maybe after four more books I’ll really give promotion a solid, unrelenting, go. Maybe.

For now, I’m putting up my half of the bargain with Buck and creating these blog posts (& some Instagram) as well as some paid promotion with BookTrib.

I’d like to see Buck’s author career soar. Beyond that, this blog is also mostly for myself and putting my thoughts into an easy to find format.

Best, Zachary Berue